Reoccurrence is Not Failure
Dear Self…. Dearest. Me to the depths of Me.
I know that you feel a tightness in your body. I know that you are thinking how is this happening… again? I know that you have walked with dignity. I want you to know that you are valuable, you are worthy, and you have a place in the world. It is just that it doesn’t feel like it. I feel kind of cheated. There’s exasperation. I stay in my practice.
I breathe in: I AM Worthy.
I breathe out: I AM Valuable.
I breathe in: I have a place in the world.
I breathe out: It is so.
Every day I rest in G~D. There is a calm peace that has been my travel partner. At the radiation center they keep asking me, “How do you feel?”
“My response has been I am good, no pain. I meditated and prayed before I got here. I am still in the zone.”
There is no pain because I have just completed my morning practice. There is relief. I sit and I move my Self into my place living for the day. However, it has been a place of getting that one thing done. Resting and then getting that next thing done. The one thing is not always the most important thing. It is the thing that I have the physical, mental and emotional capacity to complete. It is the thing that consciousness has risen to the heart. Once in my heart, I know that I have the determination to complete it.
If the pain returns. I sit with it. Some days I don’t get back up. Occasionally, the thought comes, “What did I do wrong?” And I sit with that. Days have gone by. I have moved from my bed, to my massage table to do energy alignments, to the patio, to the recliner.
The timing is suspect. I just completed my course. I had plans to move into service. I thought I was in alignment with “The Good.” I am to be in the world. As I breathe, consciously into my Self, there is a calm. In the background, there is the inquiry, “Why Now?”
Calm that usually signals, all is in divine right order. All is in divine alignment. So, I sit. Knowing this. Allowing the calm to be present. Accepting life as the flow of this moment.
From this morning’s practice:
Life is an abundant Force.
I AM Alive.
Life flows into me, as me and through me.
I AM ALIVE.
Yet, still today, the “Why Now” is present.
Guidance. You have not failed Mercedes. This in a moment. Each inhalation is a present moment. Each exhalation is a past moment. Present. Past. Present. Past. Present. Past. Now. Now. Now. Alive. Living. Living. Lived. You are anointed in this moment to live. Live. This is not failure. Every Body Lives This.
What brings you joy? Start there.
So… I have made jewelry.
Played with my crystals.
My art area is a mess. I reclaimed it, at least partially.
I taught Priya, my German Shepherd, to find the cookie.
I am writing… sporadically.
I have immersed myself in the Sacred Soul Ignitions
Breathe In.
Breathe Out.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Every Breath is an opportunity to live a devoted life.
I AM Alive.
This is not a failure.
I AM Alive.
