R.E.A.L: Husbands Loving Their Wives Through Cancer
Keeping It REAL. Realized Energy Actualized in Life. I have been reflecting on this event from last Saturday. Be forewarned. These empty seats are a crisis at least in my mind.
This is beyond be one teach one. You do better when you know better. Nothing is better if we don’t show up.
I remember my doctor saying. “Thank God, you don’t have the black women’s cancer.”
This Black Women strain is deadlier. This strain is aggressive. So technically, this strain is more disruptive to everything you know.
So these empty chairs in our cultural center is disturbing in so many ways.
I’ve had conversations with my Circles about would we even know what a good black man looks like, speaks like, feels like, loves like. I’ve been in relationships that were the ice breakers. I was so hardened that I had to get through my heart to get to his.
Truthfully, I was mired in destructive, inconsolable grief. Cancer is teaching me to love myself deeply. So next guy, I can love you.
I have been taking care of myself for too long. There’s so much more that could be said here. Part of my cancer journey has been allowing myself to accept love. Believe that love is possible. I went to this event because I wanted to see that it’s possible, Present and Actualized for the women who are loved by these men. We need to see this. Inhale this and expect this for ourselves.
I’ve talk to my Big Sister, my Elder and my Muse about breaking the Cycles and creating The Circles. We are not showing up. Why?
I don’t know. What I do know is pass the labels and the dress codes, the subliminal cultural elitism, the socially assigned hierarchy, the financial realities and the conscious separation the fatigue is real. Believe me. Cancer doesn’t care if you are Christian or IFA, Muslin or Naturalist. Cancer doesn’t care! Cancer doesn’t care if you are educated or self smart, rich or poor, spiritual or religious. Cancer doesn’t care! Got it. Cancer is probably one of the most subjective, personal and intimate, individualized occurrences of our lifetimes.
We are on the surface. There’s an opportunity to go deeper. Cancer is a dysfunction of our emotional and spiritual states as much as it is a dysfunction of our physical state.
My journey would have been so much different if I hadn’t had my Crew. My friends and my spiritual family.
These empty seats represent so much more to me having gone through the medical crisis as well as the ongoing lifestyle maintenance stimulated through cancer.
There is a place for Truth to emerge. My Sisters allow yourself grace and love. This is a life situation. we are communal beings. Comfort, care and compassion are not optional. Make time to receive this now. Cancer does not play. Do not do this alone. Pray healthy relationships and friendships into existence.
Now I did not find out about this event until 11:00 pm the night before. A whole other point.
The final thought. It doesn’t matter how many workshops or sister circles or gatherings you attend if you don’t change Your relationship with the foundational Spirit that uplifts and upholds. The prettiest and the loudest and the biggest is often a house built on a shaky foundation.
Quiet simplicity builds strength in your Truth.
Enough for now.
Namaste
May you know the Divine Intimately.
